Sharing Economy Startup Generator



If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. Here’s a two-sentence sharing-economy pitch for the venture capitalist in your life.

[insert_php]
function ts_sesg_like_generate() {
$companies = array(
Airbnb‘,
Car2Go‘,
DogVaycay‘,
Etsy‘,
Fon‘,
Getaround‘,
Lending Club‘,
Liquid‘,
EatWith‘,
Lyft‘,
Neighborgoods‘,
Park At My House‘,
Poshmark‘,
RelayRides‘,
Sharedesk‘,
Sidecar‘,
Snapgoods‘,
TaskRabbit‘,
Uber‘,
Zaarly‘,
Zipments‘,
);
return ” ” . $companies[rand(0, count($companies)-1)];
}

function ts_sesg_thing_generate() {
$things = array(
‘for astrologers’,
‘for cemetery plots’,
‘only for beautiful people’,
‘for butlers’,
‘for string quartets’,
‘for standup comedians’,
‘for chartered accountants’,
‘for hard drugs’,
‘for debt collection’,
‘for endangered species’,
‘for Maytag repairmen’,
‘for logistics’,
‘for your online reputation’,
‘for quantum chemists’,
‘for random household appliances’,
‘for mathematical theorems’,
‘for death metal bands’,
‘for brain surgeons’,
‘for heart surgeons’,
‘for 8-track tapes’,
‘on steroids’,
‘only for Oxbridge graduates’,
‘for time-of-flight mass spectrometers’,
‘for personal grooming services’,
‘for parakeets’,
‘for sharing economy startups’,
‘for unicycles’,
);
return ” ” . $things[rand(0, count($things)-1)];
}

function ts_sesg_adjective_generate() {
$adjective = array(
‘a trusted’,
‘a grassroots’,
‘a commons-based’,
‘a peer-to-peer’,
‘a P2P’,
‘a collaborative’,
‘a sustainable’,
‘an innovative’,
‘a social’,
‘an awesome’,
);
return ” ” . $adjective[rand(0, count($adjective)-1)];
}

function ts_sesg_place_generate() {
$place = array(
‘marketplace’,
‘community’,
‘system’,
‘economy’,
‘space’,
‘network’,
‘platform’,
‘MOOC’,
);
return ” ” . $place[rand(0, count($place)-1)];
}

function ts_sesg_inhabitants_generate() {
$inhabitants = array(
‘promoting access over ownership’,
‘engaged in collaborative consumption’,
‘connecting people’,
‘of awesome individuals’,
‘of regular people’,
‘of neighbors’,
‘of creative individuals’,
‘of people just like you’,
‘of makers’,
‘for underutilized assets’,
);
return ” ” . $inhabitants[rand(0, count($inhabitants)-1)];
}

function ts_sesg_whynot_generate() {
$whynot = array(
‘You must be kidding’,
‘Ashton Kucher doesn\’t see the opportunity’,
‘Andreessen-Horowitz says it\’s not disruptive enough’,
‘That may fool Jeff Bezos, but it doesn\’t fool me’,
‘Try Google Ventures’,
‘Not a profitable business model’,
‘I rate you one star out of five’,
);
return $whynot[rand(0, count($whynot)-1)];
}

function ts_sesg_reload_generate() {
$reload = array(
‘TaskRabbit me another’,
‘Share me another’,
‘Create me another, micro-entrepreneur’,
‘Give me what I want, and give it to me right now’,
‘Show me the money’,
‘Give me your most disruptive’,
);
return $reload[rand(0, count($reload)-1)];
}

$thing = ts_sesg_thing_generate();

// Output
echo “

“;
echo “It’s” . ts_sesg_adjective_generate() . ts_sesg_place_generate() . ts_sesg_inhabitants_generate();
echo “.
Like” . ts_sesg_like_generate() . “, but” . $thing . “.”;
echo “

“;
echo “

” . ts_sesg_whynot_generate() . “. ” . ts_sesg_reload_generate() . “.

“;
[/insert_php]

Have I missed your favourite adjective, place, company, or shareable item? Leave a comment and I’ll update the page (PG rated).


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